How To Make Bagpipes From An Entire Deer

Less than a week left of bow season, and my friend gets lucky and nails a buck. Which means that between the three guys of our little hunting clan, we've bagged exactly 2 deer this year. A terrible season. Lots of cold mornings wasted in tree lines, swamps, and river bottoms, all for nothing. But anyway...

My friend takes his buck, right through both lungs but missing the heart completely, which is exactly where I hit mine, although with a muzzle-loader slug. The deer is hanging on the rack, ready to be gutted, but we're giving it a better look in the lights. My other friend pulls the forelegs apart, and a whistling sound escapes from the exit wound. He does it a few more times, with the same result, and for some reason it's wildly funny to us (it was late, we were tired, give us a break). So I start to wonder: can you make bagpipes out of an entire deer? Maybe hollow out the antlers for the pipes, pump the chest like a bellows...would that work? Was this how primitive man discovered bone was a good material for flutes, and animal skins stretched over logs made cool bongos? Was coffee-house jazz really invented thousands of years ago in some riverside cave? Were beatniks the same pretentious knobs in Lascaux that they were in Greenwich Village? How much was a pack of smokes in 10,000 B.C.?

I can't really answer any of those questions, but I will tell you this: Kinetic energy transferred from an arrow to a deer's breathing apparati makes a big pile of lung jelly.

And Lung Jelly would be an awesome name for a band.