The Wenceslaus Report #1

I know I already did a short post on beer, so this really isn't #1, but now I have a clever title, and it's my blog, so it's #1 now.

I decided on The Wenceslaus Report for a couple of reasons. First of all he is a Patron Saint of Brewers, one of many, actually. I've always enjoyed the tales of Good King Wenceslaus, who doubles as Santa Claus in parts of Europe, so it dovetailed nicely with my frame of mind. I also think it lends something of a mystic quality to the proceedings, and being fairly religious about my beer, I liked the connection.

It's my intention to use The Wenceslaus Report as my own little beer column. Nothing professional or snooty about it; just what I like and don't like about the hundreds of beers I've tasted.

A few things before we start:

Don't look for reviews of mass-produced, mass-market American beers. I don't have anything against American brews per se; there are many of them I quite like. But Miller or Budweiser products are out, because they suck. They taste like crap, when they manage to have any taste at all, which is rare.

Belgian lambic styles: ain't happening. Too sweet, too syrupy, I don't like 'em, so I don't drink 'em (and yes, I've tried a bunch. Like 20 or so.)

Hopped-up microbrews: not here. I can pretty much tell how a beer is generally going to taste by where it's brewed and what's on the bottle, and I hate beers that taste green. Brews from the Pacific Northwest are particularly guilty of this.

Lite beers? I drink exactly one lite beer, and even that only occasionally: Amstel Light. Drinking a beer because it's lite, or low-calorie, or low-carb is just silly to me. If you're that worried about your carbs, drink water. If you drink lite beer because you drink too much beer, drink less. For me, beer is always about quality, never about quantity. I'd rather drink one good beer than six lousy ones any day.

I don't care much for Asian beers either, because I don't like beers that are brewed from or with rice. Kirin, a Japanese beer, is a notable exception.

By and large, I'm a stout/dark ale kind of guy, with a fair mix of porters and lagers thrown in. Dark, heavy, filling beers. I do like to have good pilsners around in the summer, though, because sometimes after a hot day in the sun a pint of Guinness just doesn't cut it.

I'll fill in more posts with brews I've had or enjoy with any regularity, but this time around I've got two that were new to me.

The first was Bombshell Blonde Ale, from the Southern Star Brewing Company in Conroe, Texas. There were a couple brews from Southern Star on the shelf, but I decided on Bombshell because of the buxom, cowgirl pin-up blonde riding a bomb on the blue can. (I'm a guy...I do things like that.) I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by this brew. It has a very thick, creamy head, and according to the can, it's brewed with a combination of American Pale and German Vienna hops (I know Vienna is in Austria...but it's referring to a kind of hop, not a locality) to give it a bready finish. And it does exactly that. I couldn't quite place the nose as I poured it, but "bready" is spot on. The hops are very subtle, not at all overpowering, and the cloudy look is misleading: Bombshell has a very smooth finish that grew on me as I drank. A good beer to have around in the spring and summer, but it ain't cheap: $9.99 for a six-pack. (That might seem like a lot, but consider this: head out to a bar where Miller Lite is on sale for $1.50 a bottle. 5 beers and 5 tips later, you're already past $10.) 7 steins (out of 10)


After a mouthful of oyster crackers to cleanse the palate, the second beer was a Lithuanian brew, Svyturys Ekstra (Svyturys-Utenos Alus Brewery, Klaipeda, Lithuania). $1.99 for a pint can, so I figured I'd give it a try. The beer has a thick head on a clear, golden lager. It smelled a bit earthy to me, which was surprising but not unpleasant. It had a mild, easy finish, not weak but certainly nothing that stood out as remarkable. I probably could have chilled it a bit longer, but I don't think that it would have made much of a difference. Not a bad beer, but not one I'd go out of my way to get, either. It reminded me of a Lithuanian Special Export (Spec X being the high-end Old Style), but with less bite, which actually helped the finish. 5 steins


Next up in W.R. #2: Hobgoblin Dark Ale and Wells Bombardier, a brace of Brit brews.

Probst!